


fire on fire

by orphan_account



Series: Fire on Fire AU [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Blow Jobs, Bonding, Consensual Underage Sex, Dan is 20, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Omega!Phil, Phil is 16, Smut, alpha!Dan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21924289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Phil never thought he would have to marry someone he didn't want to. But his parents have other plans for his life.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Phil Lester/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Fire on Fire AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1596493
Comments: 27
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kishere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishere/gifts).



Phil hummed and walked down along the lake, skipping a rock that was previously in his hand. The wind was blowing gently through the trees and he could hear the birds in the trees sing along. He was doing everything that he could do to avoid being home today. So here he was, at a lake with many memories that he would soon have to say goodbye to and have to move past. The lake held many firsts for him, but he would have to erase those from his mind and try and picture his new “firsts”. It wasn’t ideal, no, but it was life for him.

The idea of having to learn to put his past behind him was painful. He’d have to forget everyone he grew up with, his parents, his first love, everyone. He didn’t understand how his parents could still want this for him. Phil didn’t think he ever would. If he had kids he wouldn’t do this to them. Everyone is different though he supposes and has a different idea of what is best for their child.

The leaves on the trees were starting to change colors. It wasn’t right away but more gradual. Some looked ombre and Phil smiled at them. He stood there for a moment before picking a few more rocks up. Holding them in his hand, he went and walked out on the old dock and sat. Placing the rocks beside him he took his shoes and socks off and placed his feet in the water and hummed again to himself.

Skipping another rock, he heard footsteps behind him and he looked behind him.

“I figured you’d be here,” Elijah said and came and sat beside him, crossing his legs. Phil just looked at him and then back out to the water. “Are they still meeting with them?”

Phil shrugged. “I guess so? I mean they haven’t told me it was over yet, or that any agreement was come to.”

“What happens if one is?” Elijah turned his head and looked at Phil.

He just shrugged again. “I’ll have to pack up quickly and move. I’ll have to forget about you -“

“Y- you can’t do that,” Elijah stuttered and interrupted him. “You.. you just can’t. Everything we- we’ve had?” Elijah just continued to stare at him. Phil could physically see a piece of his heartbreaking and cracking off. It hurt him as well. How couldn’t it?

Phil took a shaky breath and sadly nodded his head. He hung his head in shame in a way and could feel Elijah still staring. Elijah was many of Phil’s firsts. There was almost nothing he hadn’t done with him. They both experienced their first rut and heat together, which led to days of tiredness but then a lot of time to make up for it. He was Phil’s first crush, his first date. Even his first love. But having to say goodbye to that was painful.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t still love him. Even if it was just a tiny part of him. The two broke up almost a year ago when Phil’s parents broke the news of an arranged marriage. That was the day Phil ran away for a few days to Elijah’s and cried. He cried until he was sick until he couldn’t breathe and it felt like he was suffocating under his own hands. Elijah tried comforting him, but he cried too.

They both knew there was a possibility that this was going to happen. Out of the entire population, it seemed about two out of five omegas had to go through an arranged marriage. The two talked about it, but they had tried to keep their hopes high.

Breathing in deeply, Phil could smell the comforting smell of Elijah. It was like home, and he knew nothing else would ever feel like that again. Phil leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around Phil. Breathing in deeply again, Phil buried his face in his shirt and shuttered at the feeling. He would miss it, god he would. It would be replaced with another alpha’s scent who wouldn’t feel like home or safe. It would be the stranger who would control the rest of his life. And that he couldn’t escape from.

“Can we..” Elijah started but trailed off. His eyes watered as Phil looked up, but Elijah just buried his face in his neck, scenting him. Phil could feel him shaking and the hot air on his neck. He tilted his head and Elijah sniffled and held him tighter. Phil refused to cry, and because of that he just looked emotionless.

Elijah’s calm pheromones made him melt. He sunk further into his arms until they both fell back against the dock. The wood was cold against their skin, but Phil didn’t care. He wasn’t sure how to say goodbye, but he needed to. Carefully, after a few moments, Elijah sat them both up and wiped the tears that had fallen from his eyes and Phil laid his hand on his cheek and smiled sadly.

“I- I’m so sorry,” he all but whispered and Elijah leaned in and kissed him.

Phil wanted to push away, but he couldn’t. He missed Elijah’s touch, and he knew he’d crave it more. Once the two ended things it had been hard to ever come back from it. For the first couple of months, things were awkward. Phil cried every time he had seen him. He could taste the salt from Elijah’s tears as he caved and melted into the kiss. Pulling back slightly, Phil rested his forehead on Elijah’s and tears finally came to his eyes.

“I.. pl-,” Elijah couldn’t find the words to speak. He just choked on a sob and tears rolled down Phil’s cheeks. “O-one last t- time... Please.” Phil just watched him through his blurry vision and nodded. “I j-just wan - I just wan’ to say bye.”

Phil nodded again as Elijah tried to calm down. He managed to pull himself together and Phil kissed him, laying his hand back on his cheek. There was no passion or romance in it like there was before. There was nothing there that would even symbolize that the two were one head over heels in love. Unfortunately, there was just now sorrow with what they couldn’t have.

In the midst of this, Phil managed to climb on top of Elijah carefully, and without anything bad happening in the process. He laid on his back and Phil was straddling his lap, leaning down on him kissing him. One hand was on Elijah’s cheek and the other was holding the other's hand. Phil could feel both of their hands shaking, both unsteady and unsure how to feel at the moment. Was it right to be doing this? Phil was leaving after all. Would it promise false hope and possible _what ifs_?

“Ca-“ Phil started to try and say, but was cut off with Elijah pulling him back down for another kiss. Briefly, he pulled away and rested his forehead on Elijah’s, “Can.. ca- can we go to yours? Please.” Phil’s voice was merely a whisper but still managed to crack under the pressure of having to talk. Despite not wanting to leave, Phil didn’t want to have sex on the dock. It was bound to be uncomfortable for both of them, plus, splinters.

Elijah stared up at Phil, not saying anything for a moment. The tears were still filling his eyes and Phil’s heart broke more somehow. Carefully, Phil climbed off of him and helped him up. He grabbed Elijah’s hand and they made their way to his house. The two decided to go down the shortcut and went down a path through the woods, but their hands stayed connected the entire time. Neither was willing to let go. Neither wanted to.

Elijah spoke finally, although it was to just tell Phil his parents were away, it entangled him. Elijah’s voice was raspy and deep and made Phil melt. As well as the scent that lingered from him. It still had Phil trapped and he wanted more. Clouds had come over and filled the sky, rain started to fall just as they stepped inside. The world was mourning with them it felt like at this point.

The two of them weren’t inside for a minute, both barely getting their shoes and socks off, before Elijah picked Phil up, and wrapped his legs around his waist. He was holding Phil up from under his thighs. Phil kissed him, Elijah’s lips were cold from them walking back here, and he placed his hands on his cheeks. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t worry they would fall as Elijah carried them up the stairs. He was wobbling, and Phil was a bit heavier since the last time Elijah carried his like this. Not that in any way that mattered, but it was just a factor.

Inside his room Elijah carefully let Phil down onto his bed, laying him down and almost instantly climbing on top of him. They didn’t know how to go about this. How do you say goodbye to someone but instead of words, show it? Elijah couldn’t bite down on Phil’s bonding gland, no matter how much he wanted him to. He did once years ago, Every moment of it Phil loved, he loved the feeling of it, he loved the idea of he being Elijah’s and Elijah being his. He had tried to do the same and bite down on Elijah’s bonding spot, but something went wrong and it didn’t work. So he was left bruised for a couple of weeks.

Elijah moved and all but tore his shirt off, and he climbed onto Phil’s lap. One leg was on each side of Phil’s thighs and he took off Phil’s shirt as well. He leaned down carefully, his bottom lip wobbling under the pressure, and buried his face in Phil’s neck. Their chests weren’t completely touching, but whenever they breathed they grazed slightly. Phil was hot underneath of Elijah but in the best and worst way possible.

Elijah breathed in and Phil shuttered. He felt chills travel down his arms and to the bottom of his feet. Part of him felt loved. He felt like he did the first time that they had sex together. Scared but knowing he was with someone who he could trust made it okay. Yet knowing what was going to follow he was petrified. There was nothing he could and time wasn’t slowing down. He needed it to. But all he could do was cherish the little bit of time that he knew they would have together.

Without realizing, Phil had tears rolling down the sides of his face. Elijah sensed something was wrong and propped himself up. He looked at Phil and laid his hand on his cheek and wiped his eyes. Neither said anything, they didn’t need to still. He leaned down and kissed Phil gently. Still, nothing was progressing into a hot and heavy make-out session. Phil could still feel the sadness linger and their lips wobble from the pain when they kissed.

Elijah moved slightly to kiss along Phil’s jaw. He hummed and tilted his head without paying much attention to it. He couldn’t hear much of what Elijah was saying. Mainly because his voice was quiet and muffled against Phil’s skin. His hands began to shake as he trailed his fingers along the upper part of Elijah’s arms. As his fingertips ghosted he could feel Elijah’s lips travel down along his jaw once again and down to his neck.

His lips brushed against Phil’s neck and he shuddered. He felt Elijah start to kiss along his neck, and he sadly had to remind him not to leave any sort of mark. But he wanted it. He wanted everything to be okay and to be able to bond with _his_ alpha again like in the past. Phil ran his fingers through Elijah’s hair, messing it up just a bit. Strands were going awry and it drove Phil crazy.

Elijah sniffled and carefully sat up on Phil’s lap. He looked up and felt a painful sensation in his chest once again. He longed for those to stop so he could just enjoy this moment, well, as much as he could enjoy it with the circumstances.

“C-condom,” Elijah muttered and Phil shook his head. He pushed himself up carefully and kissed Elijah.

“On- one time wit- without it,” his voice was hushed and soft as he spoke. “Pl- please?” Phil and Elijah whenever they did have sex always used a condom. But the two had seen themselves together for years to come, and to have kids. So when they did, they wanted to have each other fully and embrace the other as much as they can.

He nodded and Phil cupped his face and kissed him. He kept ahold of Elijah and leaned back against the bed, trying his best to deepen the kiss. The fear and sadness running through them both made it a bit harder to do. Elijah pulled back and carefully climbed off Phil, he shimmied out of his jeans, leaving him in his boxers. Phil did the same and watched him as Elijah grabbed the lube from his drawer and climbed back on top of Phil.

He trailed his fingers down Phil’s side again, Phil shivering under his touch. It’s all that he wanted and all that he needed. Elijah hummed and somehow his hums were filled with sorrow. It was enough to make the sunset cry and the oceans bleed onto the shore. The world mourned with them at this moment and Phil couldn’t handle that. He kissed Phil. It was nothing more than a quick peck on the lips, but then he trailed down and kissed along his jaw and down his neck. These were more meaningful and Phil felt loved. Elijah kissed over his bonding gland.

It was tempting, he wasn’t going to lie. If he bit down and the two bonded again there was a chance Phil wouldn’t have to leave. But the consequences they would face from their families might be unbearable. Elijah couldn’t put Phil through that pain, no matter how much he wanted to.

“E- Elijah,” Phil whispered and gripped his upper arm. He hummed to himself as Elijah made his way down and positioned himself between Phil’s legs. Phil’s eyes were closed at this point and he was afraid to open them.

“It’ okay,” he leaned down and kisses Phil’s inner thigh gently, “I promise.” _Lies_. He couldn’t promise that, but there was nothing he could do about that.

Carefully he pulled Phil’s boxers down, and took them off of him, tossing them to the floor. Elijah carefully then laid between Phil’s legs, his face right in front of Phil’s dick. None of this was new to them, but it felt so foreign that neither knew how to react. Phil’s head was tossed back slightly, but Elijah didn’t mind. Of course, he wanted to see his face but he knew if he did there would have been a slight chance that tears would have escaped from his eyes.

He kissed once again along the inner part of Phil’s thighs. His lips didn’t linger in one spot for too long, he moved quickly, yet the pacing of it was slightly driving Phil crazy. The pheromones that were being emitted from Elijah were starting to drive him mad and god he wanted that. He _needed_ that so bad. That slight escape from the reality they were facing.

Breathing deeply Elijah started to suck at the skin on Phil and leaving marks. Phil’s skin tasted so familiar, it tasted like _his_ omega. He wouldn’t be Phil’s anymore, but for now, he was Phil’s. He bit down gently, enough to leave a small mark, and enough to make a silent plea leave Phil’s mouth.

“Pl- please..”

He kissed up Phil’s stomach, his chest, his neck, and eventually to his lips. Phil kissed him needfully, a whine escaping from his mouth and Elijah just hummed. “It’s okay, I got you.” He whispered with a voice filled with sorrow. His voice cracked and he again whispered, “One last time… I got you, my beautiful omega.”

Phil nodded slowly and watched Elijah make his way back down and settle between his legs. Grabbing the lube from beside him, Elijah popped the cap off and squirted a bit onto his fingers. Shying away from what he was doing, Phil placed his arm over his face to cover his eyes. Biting his lip, Elijah moved to almost lay between his legs again. He was on his knees but leaning forward slightly, as he was before.

He spread Phil’s cheeks and ran his finger over his rim. Phil gasped and slightly arched his back at the sensation. Elijah looked up and smiled to himself. He kissed the base of Phil’s cock and muttered something that sounded like _my beautiful omega_. Phil was starting to fall apart and he was in an eternal bliss it felt like. Both of them could tell and Elijah licked a stripe up Phil’s cock, causing the boy to shutter. He took the tip of his cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. He could taste the precum on his tongue and it drove him mad.

Elijah carefully, yet slowly, slid his finger into Phil’s hole. Phil tensed slightly, but only mere seconds later did his body relax. He waited a moment and slowly pushed his finger in and out as he started to bob his head. Phil above him, who was still covering his eyes, with his free hand he tangled his fingers in Elijah’s hair. Pulling off Phil’s dick he kissed down on him and back up, before taking him back in his mouth. Phil was slightly pushing his head down further and Elijah complied. He took as much of Phil’s dick in his mouth as he could before he gagged slightly.

Typically Elijah would stop Phil by now, just because he liked to remain in charge and Phil liked to remain being told what to do, in bed at least. But for now, he wasn’t doing that. He was pushing those urges away and let Phil do what _he_ wanted.

Phil eased up and he continued to bob his head. Doing so he slipped another finger inside of Phil, humming deeply around him. He started to move his fingers and fingered him agonizingly slowly. Whines were coming from Phil and his back was arched. He started to beg and Elijah pulled off him.

“Hm?”

“E-Elijah… please,” he begged and his voice cracked. “No - now please.” Elijah hesitated and kept stretching Phil. He didn’t want to hurt him, it was the last thing that he wanted to do. He asked Phil if he was sure and Phil nodded.

Pumping his fingers in and out a few more times, Elijah pulled out. He climbed off and stripped from his boxers and he moaned at the sensation of his dick finally not feeling so constricted against him. He moved back between Phil’s legs and hoisted Phil’s legs up slightly, so his ass was lifted off of the bed. He grabbed the lube once again and squirted some more onto his hand. Tossing it to the floor he wrapped his hand around his dick, coating himself in it, and stroking slowly.

Elijah moaned deeply before carefully lining himself up with Phil. He gripped his hip, digging his nails into his skin. Pushing in, Elijah leaned forward and kissed Phil needfully until he bottomed out. Phil wrapped his legs around his waist and moaned. The noises that were coming from Phil was like music to his ears, or as if he was hearing God himself sing. It was beautiful. Elijah placed his hands on both sides of Phil’s head, hoisting himself up slightly so he wasn’t crushing Phil.

Laying his hands on Elijah’s cheeks, Phil pulled his face down slightly and he kissed him. Elijah hummed and Phil started to think. Time was passing and he would soon be saying goodbye and before he knew it tears were pooling in his eyes. Sadly, Elijah lifted one hand and wiped his eyes before he laid it on Phil’s cheek.

“I kn- know,” Elijah mumbled and started to slowly thrust his hips.

He went to place his hand back down but Phil grabbed it before he could and held it tightly. Both of them were shaking at this point. Phil sniffled and Elijah buried his face in Phil’s neck. Tears fell from his eyes and onto his neck, wetting the skin. As he thrusted his hips, quiet moans escaped both of their lips and Elijah kissed Phil’s neck.

The sound of slight skin on skin filled the room, along with the stench of sex. A side of both of them was being driven mad, but the other wasn’t happy and just didn’t want to let go. Phil kept ahold of Elijah’s hand and refused to let go. His body trembled and his legs started to shake.

Phil’s body started to produce more slick and the smell was driving Elijah wild. It was _his_ omega. He buried his nose in the crook of Phil’s neck and scented him again and moaned quietly. Phil was sniffling and tilted his head further to the side. With his other hand, he laid it on Elijah’s back and scratched lightly.

Elijah kissed along his neck and mumbled sweet praises in his ear. This alone was enough to drive Phil over the edge, and he could feel himself getting closer and closer. Phil moaned and slightly arched his back and squeezed Elijah’s hand tighter. He continued to thrust his hips slowly and sensually and moaned deeply.

Moaning Elijah’s name, Phil arched his back and sniffled and he started to cum on both of their chests. His body tensed and his toes curled. Elijah sped his hips up slightly until he was cumming inside of Phil. His hips were bucking and he pushed in before his knot expanded, locking the two together. Phil felt pressure before realizing that Elijah knotted him and he sniffled and squeezed his hand tighter.

Elijah kissed down his neck and he kissed Phil’s bonding gland before biting down on it. He tasted blood and Phil moaned quietly, as the pheromones were released into his bloodstream. One last time Phil would be his omega, he didn’t want to let him go.

Phil started to cry and he looked up. He gently took his hand out of Phil’s and laid it on his cheek, wiping his eyes. “He- hey, don’t cry.” Elijah kissed his cheek gently and sniffled himself, “My beautiful, p- precious omega.”

The two of them were there for a little over a half-hour. Elijah’s knot took a bit longer to go down due to them both being distressed a bit. But by the time it did go down, Elijah was asleep on Phil, his face in his neck. He was running his fingers through Elijah’s hair, his hands shaking slightly. There was a pain in his neck from where Elijah had bitten down, but that was okay. For now, it would be his reminder.

Having to lay still was uncomfortable, he wouldn’t lie. Especially with Elijah crushing him, but they couldn’t move until his knot went down and then could they separate.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Phil whispered and kissed the top of Elijah’s head, “You’ll always be the best thing that ever happened to me.”


	2. Chapter 2

Phil didn’t realize that he had ever fallen asleep. He thought he just closed his eyes for a second, to blink really, but before he opened his eyes the first thing he noticed was that Elijah wasn’t on him anymore. He rubbed his eyes and sat up carefully, there was a throbbing pain coming from his shoulder and he climbed out of bed. Hearing noises coming from downstairs he assumed that Elijah was down there. He couldn’t bother to look to see if there was any dried blood. Phil wasn’t sure how he couldn’t handle that. Getting dressed, he picked his shirt up and held it in his hands. He placed it on the bed and grabbed one of Elijah’s hoodies from the floor and put it on.

There was a comfort that entrapped him. The familiar scent of his, well no longer his, alpha. Phil sat back down on the bed and looked around the room. Everything felt like a bad novel. One that didn’t have a happy ending, he imagined his life for a long time. He knew there was this possibility, but he didn’t want to accept it.

It took Phil a good twenty minutes before he found the courage to stand up again. He knew once he headed downstairs he’d be saying goodbye and he didn’t want to. He could just run away with Elijah and pretend everything was fine. But if their parents found them it was over. But he couldn’t do that to Elijah, he couldn’t put him through more than he already was.

Phil slowly headed out of his room, and down the stairs. He felt weighted down. It was like each step was going to send him through the floor. Maybe it was because every step was closer and closer to the door and once he walked out, that was it. Peering in through the doorway, Phil saw Elijah on the couch sitting. The tv was on and some show was playing.

Elijah turned his head and saw Phil there. He noticed that he was wearing his sweatshirt. He refused to say anything about it. There was a chance Phil was going to take it with him and he was going to. All he could do was offer him this last physical piece of himself since he had already bared his soul for him. There wasn’t anything else that Elijah could offer as a memory of himself. He had almost all of Phil’s firsts, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, there’s a chance Phil would pretend that never happened.

Phil went and sat beside him and neither spoke. His hands trembled on his lap. His head hung low and he couldn’t physically look up. Not even if he wanted to.

Was there a need to?

Was there a need to when Phil may not be able to say anything again after this moment? Phil’s hands trembled and he couldn’t catch his breath it felt like. Logically he knew he was breathing fine, but something deep inside him was trying to fool himself.

“I didn’t want to wake you up,” Elijah finally spoke, “You looked peaceful and I wanted you to have a little bit of peace before… you know.”

Phil looked up finally and at him. Would this be the last time he would see him? There was such a deep pain hidden behind his eyes that any sort of emotion he did have was obsolete. All Phil wanted to do was see him smile. A genuine smile, nothing fake. The smile he saw the day they went to the pier outside of town and got ice-cream. It was the day that a dog had chased Phil because he wanted some ice-cream and he had never seen Elijah laugh that much.

He looked him up and down before laying his head on Elijah’s shoulder. He breathed in deeply and admired his scent. Phil felt Elijah go to wrap his arm around his waist but then pull away.

“S- sorry… I shouldn’t do that,” Elijah said. “Not if - not when it’ll make this harder.”

“It’s already hard.”

Elijah breathed in deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I know.”

They sat in silence until the sun started to go down. Phil looked out the window and bit his lip before standing up. Elijah looked up at him and instantly jumped up onto his feet and pulled Phil close. He held him tightly and started to cry again into his shoulder. Phil’s eyes watered themselves but he was trying to keep his composure. At least until he got home into the safety of his room. His arms were heavy and his knees were buckling underneath of him. Elijah was practically keeping him standing at this point.

“Pr-“ Elijah sniffled and took a shaky breath, “Pr-promise me, if- if whoever th-this guy is, do- does anything to hu-hurt you. That - that you’ll leave somehow.”

Phil stood there quietly. He _already was_ hurting him. But he couldn’t just leave. Underage omegas in these marriages can’t do much of anything. And they can’t leave. But if they do and get caught they would have to fight so many legal battles.

“Promise me.”

He closed his eyes and quietly muttered a soft, “I promise.”

The two said goodbye with their hearts filled with sorrow. Elijah gave Phil a final kiss on the cheek before he left. Phil could feel Elijah’s eyes on him as he walked through the door. But once the door was shut and he began to walk away he could hear Elijah break down in sobs. He knew that he should head home. But he didn’t want to. His parents would most likely be waiting for him to get back and he couldn’t handle that right now.

Staring down the street, Phil turned on his heel and headed the other direction. There was a small coffee shop not far. It was local and opened until late. Maybe he could go there. It was where Elijah and himself would sneak off to when Phil stayed at his house. Those nights they would carefully sneak out his window and run down the street chasing after each other.

Phil looked up from the ground and could swear that he could see that. A happier version of himself being chased by Elijah. Carefree and full of life and excitement. Now he just felt drained of that. And he shouldn’t. For god sakes, he was only sixteen, and he felt like there would never be a moment of happiness again.

Maybe when he had kids someday. Just maybe, then he would have a bit of that happiness back. But it would be with someone that he didn’t love, so would it count? Is having children with a man that you do not count for some sort of happiness? It couldn’t.

Phil walked for an hour or so before finally going to the coffee shop. A lot of things played through his mind, but not everything. As he opened the door to the coffee shop, it didn’t even dawn on him what just happened. He had sex. More so he had unprotected sex. Granted he used to be on something to not get pregnant, his parents had made him, but he hadn’t taken it in months. Once he had to break up with Elijah, his parents stopped getting it refilled and then he ended up running out a couple of months later. He did still take suppressants for his heats, more so he took something that tricked his body into thinking it was happening. He didn’t understand it, but all he knew was it meant he wouldn’t have an actual heat, but he could still get pregnant.

Rubbing his eyes, Phil made his way over to the counter and the barista smiled at him. _Daisy,_ her name tag read. She was pretty and had a hoop in her nose. Maybe Phil could do that. His parents would kill him though.

“Hi, how can I help you?” Daisy said. Phil stared at her for a moment and then looked up towards the menu. She noticed that it looked like Phil was going to cry. “Hey, are you oka-“ She cut herself off and noticed Phil’s shoulder, as the hoodie slid down off his shoulder slightly. Her eyes slightly widened at the sight of the blood and her mind went to where it usually goes to when someone sees an omega without an alpha: with a bonding mark.

“Um,” Daisy started to say again and Phil’s eyes traveled down and he looked at her. She looked around and leaned in, “Did something happen? Your uh.. your shoulder.”

Phil looked at her and then realized his bonding mark was showing. He nodded and pulled the fabric back over his shoulder.This _Daisy_ watched him for a few minutes before taking his order down. Paying, he looked over at the table where they would sit together before looking down at his shoes. He didn’t get what he usually ordered, which is what he got with Elijah. So he just settled on a large hot chocolate.

He fiddled with the strings on his hoodie and kept his head down. Stepping out of the way of those behind him, Phil moved to the side to wait for his drink. He didn’t have his phone on him, so he couldn’t check the time. But it was for the best that he didn’t have it anyways, his parents would possibly be blowing it up looking for him. Not that he wanted to be found. If that was an option at least.

“Here you go,” Daisy said as she placed the lid on his drink and handed it to him. He thanked her and walked out. The streetlights were lighting up the roads and Phil rubbed his eyes with his free hand. He wasn’t sure where to go, but he didn’t want to go home. Could he go to Elijah’s again? Yeah, yeah he could. One last night right? He could go and pray to god his parents hadn’t come to some sort of agreement with these people.

So he did. Or he wanted to. He knew that Elijah had the house to himself until the morning. Biting his lip Phil walked down to the corner street payphone and put his last bit of change in it and dialed Elijah’s number.

He bit his lip and sighed. “Please answer,” Phil mumbled.

Elijah didn’t answer. He didn’t deny the call, but he didn’t answer it either. Phil sniffled quietly and hung up the phone. Hopefully, he would be awake when Phil got there. He’d probably be up in his bedroom, so Phil could get his attention that way.

As he walked back to Elijah’s he drank his hot chocolate. The warmth of it was slightly soothing as it traveled down his throat and warmed his insides. Phil once again kept his head down and kicked pebbles in front of him.

 _Will I even be in this town anymore?_ Phil thought to himself. When he, if he- he should say. But he was more than certain it was happening. So when he moved, where would he go? Not far from here? Hours away? The middle of a city or the abandoned countryside he loathed?

Shaking his head Phil took another drink before throwing it away in the bin that was on the sidewalk. The town was adding more of them, at least something good was happening in this town. Stopping outside of Elijah’s, he grabbed a few pebbles, shoved them in his pocket and went around back. Carefully, he climbed over the fence. He was so used to doing that, that he was practically a master at scaling certain fences.

There was a tree beside Elijah’s house. There was a treehouse in it that the two spent countless nights in. Phil smiled to himself a bit. Whenever he was stressed out the two would escape to there and Phil would build a nest with Elijah’s things. Of course, Elijah was there and watching him but Phil typically never let him on his actual nest. He wanted to wait for a while for that.

It was silly, but the idea of sharing a nest with someone was somehow more intimate than bonding for Phil. It was letting someone in completely while in a vulnerable state, and Phil didn’t want to give that away.

He climbed up the ladder and across a branch that easily could hold his weight. Elijah’s curtains were closed and there weren’t any lights on. So Phil took a pebble out of his pocket and threw it at the window carefully. _Nothing._ He sighed and threw a couple more until he saw the light turn on and he smiled slightly.

Phil watched as Elijah came over and opened the curtain and then the window. He yawned slightly and looked at Phil.

“P - Phil?” He mumbled and looked around. What on Earth was Phil doing outside his window? He knew, or so he thought, that when Phil left he wouldn’t be seeing him again.

“Hi,” Phil quietly said and sniffled. “I do-don’t wanna go home yet.”

Elijah nodded and motioned to the treehouse before closing his window and curtains. Phil carefully climbed over and inside. He sat in the dark for a little until Elijah climbed up with the extension cords. Phil plugged the light in carefully and the small heater and watched Elijah disappear again. He sat on the mattress that was in there and waited.

Suddenly a few blankets and pillows were tossed up there, and then Elijah climbed in himself. Phil watched him and noticed it was obvious that he was asleep. His eyes were red and puffy though like he cried himself to sleep and Phil flinched a bit.

“Did- did I wake you up?”

Elijah nodded and picked the pillows and blanket up and sat them on the bed. “ ’S alright though, don’t worry about it.”

He wasn’t wearing a shirt and he had sweatpants on that cling to his waist. Yawning, he motioned for Phil to move and he did so. Phil jumped up quickly and watched Elijah grab a sheet from a box in the corner and put it on the bed. They had a box that was filled with old sheets and light blankets that Phil used for a nest. Mainly because they smelled of Elijah and that scent was what calmed him.

He went to put the blanket and pillows on but Phil stopped him. Elijah just watched and Phil went and dug everything out of the box. He bit his lip and on the bed, he started to make a nest, but Elijah noticed it was bigger than usual.

“Uh, Phil?” He said. “Hey, whatcha doing?”

“Making a nest for us,” Phil mumbled quietly and Elijah just stared at him. This was new. Phil never said those words to him before.

“For us?”

Phil nodded and looked at him sincerely. “Please?”

Elijah was silent for a moment. “Yea, yeah that’s okay.”

He had all night to figure that out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me on tumblr [@flymetomanchester](https://flymetomanchester.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to @itsmyusualphannie for looking over this chapter for me! 
> 
> Also, I have to say, I cannot do Monday updates. It is too stressful for me to try and have everything written and all and ready (which is why this chapter is late honestly). I'll try and upload at least once a week, but I can't promise. I would rather this fic be taken time on rather than trying to pump out a chapter for each week. I hope you guys understand! I apologize deeply for this but I would rather take a bit more time to give everyone the content they deserve than have to rush this.

Elijah watched Phil go about making the nest as usual. He’d seen him do it plenty of times before. He knew Phil liked to use his old hoodies, hence why they kept them. It was the fact that Phil enjoyed the scent of Elijah. There was nothing new that he thought. Other than the fact that it was larger and for him as well. He couldn’t wrap his head around that fact. Phil never shared nests and he never pushed him to. He knew the two would after some time end up cuddling there.

“Phil?” Elijah asked and Phil looked at him again. “Ar- are you sure you want to share it with me?”

Elijah was nervous. He was nervous and didn't know what to think. This was new to him. Although everything with Phil was new to him. Phil was his first omega to be fair. The only omega he'd ever have, he hoped. He watched Phil put pillows down and then go over to sit in front of him.

Phil sat down and bit his lip. “Yeah, I want you to one time -“ He looked back up - “This is the only time. Well, the only time I can ask you.” He looked down, nervous and a bit embarrassed, and rubbed his eyes. Elijah sat and watched him for a moment and bit his lip.

Phil was always excessively protective of his nests. From the way he structured them to who was allowed in it. But he always had been, even when they were kids. He could think back to the times when Phil would make one while he was there. Elijah has vivid memories of how he tried to climb in with Phil but Phil pushed him away and all but growled at him. It was cute to think about. But knowing how much _his_ nests meant to him, Elijah wasn’t one to pry.

It was starting to warm up from the heater, but it wasn’t much. Elijah figured they wouldn't freeze at least overnight. Phil continued to move things around and added one of the old hoodies into it. Elijah sat to the side and rubbed his eyes.

“How about when you’re done, we go inside and get some more blankets and something to eat out here?” Elijah asked him. Phil looked up and nodded before crawling over and laying his head on the other’s shoulder. Wrapping his arms around him, Elijah turned his head a bit and buried his face in Phil’s hair and sighed. God if only there was a way for him to freeze time. Perhaps, then he could have this happily ever after with Phil that he was so desperate to have. It was what he wanted. What he and Phil wanted.

Kids. A house. Marriage. All the things that he wanted with Phil. They had talked about it in the past, nothing too extreme. But they talked about it nonetheless. Does this mean that Phil would have kids with another man? Someone that Phil didn’t love? Elijah bit his lip and tightened his grip on Phil as he held him. It wasn’t fair. _None_ of this was fair. But neither was the world, was it?

Elijah held Phil for a while. He took in his scent and prayed that his own pheromones were keeping Phil calm a bit. Relaxed, he should say. Both were quite hard in this situation if he were to be honest. Phil made a quiet purring like noise and snuggled further into Elijah, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You really are adorable,” Elijah said with a solemn smile on his face. His voice became a mere whisper now. “I hope you know that.”

Phil didn’t say anything. Neither of them did. Yet, after a bit, Elijah and Phil made their way inside. He cautiously climbed down the ladder first and stood and waited for Phil. Phil made his way down, but about halfway he misplaced his hand and began to slip backward. Elijah swiftly moved forward when he fell back. Phil fell onto him and they both fell to the ground. Elijah hit his head off the ground and groaned and Phil’s eyes widened.

“Fuck, ow,” he muttered and Phil climbed off him and sat on his knees and looked at Elijah. He was laying on the ground with his eyes closed and breathing heavy. Phil couldn’t see much of his face except for what the light from the street lamp reached him. Other than that it was mainly shadows.

“I- so -” Phil stuttered and his eyes started to water. He watched Elijah carefully sit up but his eyes were still filled with tears. Elijah opened his eyes and rubbed the back of his head carefully. But it was just enough for Phil to finally and fully break again.

He _tried_ to apologize. Phil did. He _wanted_ to apologize for falling and hurting Elijah but it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Elijah hadn’t even looked at him until he heard Phil start to cry.

Phil buried his face in his hands and began to sob. He started to shake and his chest was heaving. He didn’t mean to hurt Elijah. Not this time or anytime. He didn’t mean to hurt him when he broke up with him. He didn’t mean to cause the pained look on his face that he did. But it was his fault. He’d only had been thinking about himself. Phil was only thinking of how he was hurting. But this cut much deeper. Both of them were hurting and it was his fault. Was Phil really that selfish? He had to have been. It was affecting both of them, but Phil had only been thinking about himself in many ways.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Elijah said and looked over Phil. He didn’t think he got hurt somehow, especially with how Phil landed on him. Did he miss something? Elijah placed his hand on Phil’s back and rubbed small circles. He was trying to ignore the pain coming from the back of his head and he bit his lip. He wasn’t dizzy or anything like that, thankfully. So he just prayed that the pain would go away as time went on.

Phil leaned forward and all but climbed onto Elijah’s lap. He sobbed into his shoulder as his body shook. Elijah held him close and whispered nothing but soft reassurances in a hope that he could try and help him. Phil’s tears were soaking his shirt and all he could do was hold him as his heart broke a little bit more.

He wrapped his arms around Phil and rocked them back and forth slightly. The cold air was leaving chills on his skin and making this much more uncomfortable. Carefully, Elijah had Phil stand up, and he cried into his hands. He pulled himself to his feet and waited a moment to balance himself before he wrapped his arm around Phil’s waist. He led them both inside and sat Phil on the couch. Phil was still shaking a bit. It wasn't as bad as before though.

“I’ll be right back.” He kissed the top of Phil’s head and went upstairs. Going into the bathroom, he turned the light on and tilted his head slightly to try and look. There was a bit of dirt in his hair that he had to get out then. Perhaps he could take a shower before they went back outside.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Elijah sighed and opened the medicine cabinet. Grabbing some Tylenol, he dumped two into his hand before putting it back. He went to his room and grabbed his bottle of water and took a drink and took them. He grimaced at the taste of it and went back downstairs.

Phil was still on the couch, but he was laying on his side curled up hugging his knees. It looked like he had stopped crying, but was sniffling still. Phil didn’t notice Elijah had come down until he was coming to sit in front of him. He sniffled and watched him sit on the floor before wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

“I- .. I’m so - sorry,” Phil quietly stuttered and Elijah smiled sadly at him. He leaned forward and kissed Phil on the forehead and hummed.

“It’s okay, but what happened?” Phil looked at him confused before getting what he meant. Phil mumbled how he was selfish and Elijah looked at him confused. “What do you mean?” He laid his hand on Phil’s cheek.

Phil quietly told him. He told him how selfish he was for only thinking of himself and how this affected him. He told him how he didn’t realize that all he was doing was hurting Elijah, no matter what he did. Phil rubbed his eyes aggressively and Elijah took his hand gently. Running his thumb back and forth, he watched Phil. He leaned forward after a moment and rested his forehead on him.

“Phil,” Elijah said and sat back up and Phil watched him, “You’re not selfish, you- yeah, I’m upset. I’m gonna cry for days when you go. But this is changing _your_ entire life.”

Phil laughed sadly and his lip quivered. Before he could start to cry again Elijah kissed him gently. He laid his hand on his cheek and smiled sadly at him as he pulled away. Sitting up, Elijah climbed to his feet and motioned for Phil to sit up. Phil watched him, confused, but sat up anyways. Elijah sat down on the couch and pulled Phil onto his lap and held him close. Phil cuddled into him and held onto his shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair and hummed quietly. He tilted his head slightly as Phil buried his face in his neck and he let him scent him. He could all it was helping to ground Phil a bit so he continued to let him go about it. Elijah just simply sat and rubbed Phil’s back for a while.

If there was one thing that he was good at at least, it was helping to calm Phil down. Even if it was by nature and the pheromones he released. Was it ideal? Not always. But at least Phil then would have the calming scent of him. Phil was humming after a bit and Elijah smiled and kissed the top of his head.

“Come on,” Elijah said and Phil sat up and looked at him, “I need to get a shower and wash the dirt from my hair. If you want you can sit in the bathroom.”

Phil nodded and climbed off him. It wasn’t uncommon for Phil to sit in the bathroom while Elijah was in the shower if he was over. Whenever Phil had his first heat and they were alone for a few days he did that. While he was calming down and Elijah needed to shower he hung out in there with him. Granted he only sat on the floor beside the tub. But he liked to be close to him alpha. Or the one who was _his_ alpha.

Sometimes Phil would hum to himself and create a small nest. Other times he would talk and Elijah would listen. Either option they both were fine with. Elijah liked hearing Phil talk about random things, and if it was helping him to keep his focus, then so be it.

It was predominant though after they bonded for the first time. Phil didn’t want to be away from Elijah or his scent and whenever he was, he got upset. Elijah found it cute, so he had built them a little fort out of sheets on his bed. The two had snuggled together under the blankets in bliss for a few days. They had cancelled all plans, skipped school - somehow both of their parents gave them permission to do so. It was heaven for the two of them and a huge bonding experience. Both physically and emotionally.

The two headed upstairs and Elijah went into his room to grab some clothes. Grabbing boxers, sweatpants, and a hoodie, he headed to the bathroom. Phil was sat on the floor playing with his hands and looked up. He smiled a bit and Elijah crouched in front of Phil and kissed him gently. Phil hummed and before anything could happen, or turn into more, Elijah pulled away. He knew that Phil would be more upset possibly if they tried to go a bit further again. Not that either really wanted to go a second round again after earlier. Neither of them could handle the emotional pain of it.

Elijah showered quickly. While he did so Phil laid on the floor and used his dirty hoodie as a slight pillow. It was because it had his scent on it and he wanted to be close to him. Phil hummed to himself and Elijah smiled to himself. He hurried so they could get back outside. One, because Phil’s nest was there and two - they left the heater on. The last thing he needed was for a fire to start.

But as he was washing his hair Phil spoke. "Elijah?"

"Hm?"

Phil fiddled with his hands and cocked his head a bit to the side although Elijah wasn't looking at him. Almost like he was thinking. "Do you believe in miracles?" Phil's voice didn't skip a beat. It wasn't quiet, it wasn't soft. It sounded like Phil. _His_ Phil who was always curious about things. _His_ Phil, that always had a smile on him and a cheerful tone in his voice. Yet the cheerful side was missing. He could hear the curiosity in Phil, something he prayed and prayed that Phil would never lose. It was one of the best things about him.

Elijah's eyes watered and tears silently ran down his cheeks. He had barely talked to Phil other than texting in the last couple of weeks. And to hear his _true_ voice again was more than he could handle.

"N- no," Elijah muttered and rubbed his eyes before going back to finish washing his hair. "I don't. Whaddabout you?"

Phil was silent for a moment. He thought long and hard about this. How _could_ miracles be real at this point?

"Not anymore, no."

Phil lost his faith in people. His faith in _trust_ and _miracles_. If miracles did exist then he wouldn't be forced to marry someone for reasons he didn't know. He didn't know why he was marrying someone if he was honest with himself. He just was. This just showed him how much of a sham miracles and faith were. Who lets this happen?

Elijah bit his lip and finished his shower. The words Phil said were playing in his head on repeat. Kind of like if he had recorded them and let it play over and over. The sincerity in his voice drove him mad.

They took another hour for Elijah to get dried and dressed, grab snacks and head out. He checked his phone and sighed at the time. _03:58_. He hoped that Phil could get some sleep tonight, even if it meant he didn’t. Elijah knew tomorrow was going to be hard, especially when he went home. His parents were going to be angry, he was gonna be sick from being away from the alpha he bonded with. So he wanted to give Phil one last glimpse of care before he couldn’t anymore.

Outside, Phil climbed up the ladder first. He pushed the blanket that was in front of the doorway back and carefully sat at the edge. Elijah tossed the few snacks up to him and the other blanket before making his way up himself. Phil put the snacks by the bed and the blanket over the nest. Elijah turned the heater down a bit.

Crawling over to him, Elijah climbed in the nest beside Phil. Who had just made himself comfortable, or as comfortable as he could. The two cuddled and Elijah held Phil close. Phil had his head on Elijah’s chest and their legs were tangled together. He pulled the blanket over them and Phil hummed and held onto him. He stared off into space and Elijah just held him and ran his fingers through his hair. Phil listened to the beating of his heart and tapped his finger along to the beat.

“What are you doing?” Elijah chuckled.

“Nothin.’”

He nodded as Phil yawned. “Try and sleep yeah? It’s four, and- and you need sleep.”

He didn't want to sleep. Sleep meant that the day would come sooner. Sleep meant that he would be saying goodbye. Sleep meant no more Elijah. Although he wasn't sure he would be there when he woke up. God that scared him. He wanted to wake up to him one last time if he couldn't for eternity. Not that they would technically have eternity together. Reality didn't work that way.

A couple of minutes later Phil had bit his lip and pushed himself up. Elijah watched him and Phil laid his hand on his cheek and kissed him. “Th - thank you,” Phil mumbled.

“What for?”

“The best years of my life,” Phil said sadly and watched him. He had his best years with Elijah. He knew they’d have many more if he didn’t have to get married. This all ruined it. It fucked up their plans so badly.

Elijah smiled sadly at him and leaned up and pecked him on the lips again before laying back down. He put his hand on Phil’s cheek and let it stay there. The two watched each other for a couple of minutes before Elijah spoke.

“I’d give you so many more if I could,” he whispered.

"Do you think we'll see each other ever again?"

Elijah felt his eyes sting as tears pooled in his eyes again. They both knew the chance of that was slim. Most times when omegas were forced into arranged marriages, they cut ties. Mainly with everyone from their past, except for their alpha's family. Elijah wanted to keep hope, but the chance of hope and a good ending was so slim. It looked impossible to achieve.

"I re- really h-hope so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! if you wanna say hi, hop over to @flymetomanchester on tumblr


	4. Chapter 4

Morning came faster than either of them had wanted. Elijah didn't get any sleep, instead, he just held Phil until the sun rose. It should have been boring, but he watched Phil sleep peacefully and for the first time that day he smiled just a bit. Elijah missed being able to smile like this. He knew that no matter what it would be hard after Phil had left then. The sun was shining in through the slight window on the side of the treehouse and he groaned. It was directly in his eyes and he moved slightly, careful not to wake Phil. But also so the light wouldn't shine in his face and wake him up. 

Looking around for a second he searched for his phone. It was just out of his arm’s reach, well it was actually on the other side somehow, and he cursed to himself. Gently moving Phil, he climbed out of the bed. Picking it up he checked the time and sighed. _09:03._ He knew Phil would soon be waking up which meant he'd be getting his things and leaving.

He looked back to Phil and he was still inside of the nest he had made hours ago. Elijah didn't think he would have the heart to move anything from here for a while. Nor did he think he could actually come in here. It would be too painful for now. Not that anything wouldn't be painful for a while. Everything he saw somehow reminded him of Phil and he hated it. He loved it, but he _hated_ it. It was making it so much harder when they were faced with the reality of what was happening.

Soft snores were coming from Phil and Elijah couldn't help but smile sadly again at him. He was peaceful, but after this, his life would be turned upside down. Would there be an easy way for either of them to cope really? Probably not. But that was just life wasn't it? It threw things at them and then they had to try and fight for relief. Life wasn't fair and they were slowly learning that more and more.

Elijah heard his parents pull in the driveway and he sighed. Quietly he climbed out of the treehouse and down the ladder and headed towards the backdoor. The ground was cold and wet from the morning dew, causing him to hiss a bit. He didn't think to see if there was something that he could slip on before climbing down. 

His parents were unpacking the car from what he could see. It just looked like their luggage plus some groceries so he didn't bother going over to help them out. He just sighed and walked in the back door and sat at the breakfast bar and waited. They knew a bit about what was happening, about as much as Phil himself did. It was hard to see their son, and the one they were quite sure was Elijah's mate, be in so much pain and in a situation they couldn't control. But they also couldn't step in.

When an omega was set to be in an arranged marriage if anyone interfered it could be taken to court and disputed. No one really understood why. Some alphas were just that way when someone interrupted their future marriage, even if the omega didn't want to be in it. It was similar to this in Phil's case. Yet they didn't know yet if the alpha wanted to be in this marriage either. There was nothing known about him yet. Phil didn't even know his first name, he couldn't even remember his last name, or if he was told his last name.

Elijah talked to his parents for a moment when they walked in. He told them how Phil was asleep and he didn't want to wake him up, but his heart was crushed when his mum told him that he should. Her reasoning was just that the longer it took for Phil to go home the more trouble he could be in when he got there. Especially if there was a contract involved already.

Elijah's heart broke more at that moment. He couldn't tear Phil from his peacefulness, could he? He'd have to though, and slowly he went back to the treehouse. His feet felt heavy. They stung slightly from the cold and the wetness. It was almost like he was walking on coals, and then immediately after walking on pins. Each step closer the ladder was killing him on the inside. It was tearing him apart. Climbing up though, his arms started to feel weak and his head started to spin.

He paused for a moment so he wouldn't fall backward again and hit his head. Agonizingly he pulled himself up eventually and climbed in. Phil was still asleep and he felt tears prick in his eyes. One rolled down his cheek and he angrily wiped it away. Crawling over, he shook Phil gently.

"Phi - Phil," he managed after a moment. Phil just groaned and Elijah painfully shook him again. His arm felt like it was on fire as he did so. Almost like his body's way of telling him to stop. There was nothing stopping him though. Nothing that he could control. He _had_ to wake Phil up so he could go home.

Phil stretched slightly for a second and tiredly rubbed his eyes. He just felt the cold air coming in from outside and started to shiver a bit. He pulled the blanket over himself and hummed to himself and Elijah wiped another tear away.

"Y- you gotta get up."

He heard Phil mumble something about _five more minutes_ and he choked slightly. Phil was a bit more awake and alert and they both knew what he was doing. Stalling. He was stalling for time and he was going to try his damn best to stall for as long as he could. He didn't want to go home. Elijah didn't want him to go either, but he knew how parents could be when omegas didn't do as they were told.

It also didn't help that he was supposed to soon be meeting his - his _future_ groom. Someone who wasn't Elijah. Neither could fully accept this to be true. How life turned out this way for either of them, they weren't sure of. There wasn’t anything that would have pointed to this lifestyle. Not that it was a lifestyle, but more a choice that they couldn’t fight against.

Phil, after a few moments of trying to convince himself to, sat up and rubbed his eyes. It would be their last goodbye soon, and Phil could feel the aching in his heart. There something tugging at him. Well, there were many things tugging at him. Fear, guilt, rejection, whatever else he could imagine. Betrayal. He finally looked at Elijah - who was sitting in the sunlight and the rays were shining on him. The way the light hit his eyes made them look like, oddly enough, a pool of honey to Phil.Elijah was beautiful and Phil couldn’t help but feel sorry. Although Elijah was almost in tears again, he was beautiful and Phil would never get the image of him out of his mind. No one would make him.

Phil could hear the birds chirping outside of the “window” of the treehouse. It wasn’t a window really, as much as it was a hole cut into the wall. Elijah had already started to cry a bit and Phil would do his best not to cry until he was far away from him. Far enough for him to not be able to hear. Or until he got to the safety of his bedroom. Until he had to leave that is. He had no idea how much longer he had at home really, or where he’d be going.

“C-come on,” Elijah said and climbed down out of the treehouse. Phil looked around a moment and just remembered all the times they had in here. When they were little and hid here all day. The one time where the snuck out while his parents were asleep and had sex for the first time. Pushing those memories from his mind, Phil was trying to put up a mental barrier so he didn’t have to think of them anymore. He would fail, he knew that. But he’d have to try, wouldn’t he?

Elijah stood at the bottom, teary-eyed and stared up. He was waiting for Phil to come down, and so he could help him in case he fell again. Wiping his eyes furiously, he watched Phil appear after a moment and climb down. It was funny to him how the tides had turned a bit. Last night it was Phil who was a mess and breaking down, and now it was himself. Or at least he was on the verge of it. It was weird to him how fast things could change. He knew Phil was putting up a strong front, and not letting anything show. But Elijah knew Phil all too well. He knew he’d break down once in private, and it killed him that he couldn’t help anymore.

Phil planted his feet on the ground and let go of the ladder and turned to Elijah. His eyes were glossed over from tears and Phil could see the marks on his cheeks where tears already had spilled. The two watched each other for a moment before Elijah pulled Phil into a crushing hug and started to sob. He buried his face in Phil’s shoulder and held him close as he shook. Phil wrapped his arms around him and tears came to his own eyes. But he didn’t cry. He refused to. Not now, not in front of him. Elijah continued to shake as he held onto Phil. It was different this time compared to the other times Elijah cried.

Each time before there was a slight chance Phil would come back, or they could push off him leaving. This time there wasn’t that, and it was the end. The end of their happiness together, the end of _them._ It was genuine sobs that came pouring out of him and Phil wanted to take the pain away and make it better. But he couldn’t. There was nothing that Phil could do to change this.

He didn’t want to pull away from Elijah, but Phil knew he had to.Gently, he placed his hand on Elijah’s chest and pushed him backward. Elijah complied and let go. Phil frowned at the site of his face. His cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were bloodshot. The skin around was puffy and irritated already. Elijah just stared at Phil and Phil looked to the ground.

How did he do this? How was he to say goodbye? It didn’t feel right to just say goodbye and walk off. But that was what he wanted to do. Elijah was crying, Phil wanted to cry already. Despite only having been awake for less than a half-hour, he wanted the day to be over with. Although, tomorrow would be worse than today and he didn’t wanna wish that on anyone. A cold breeze came through and Elijah shivered as Phil stood there. He wiped his eyes and dropped his hand again and Phil couldn’t help but just stare at him.

“Y- you should go?” Elijah asked. His voice was filled with sadness, but there was a hint of bitterness to it that took Phil back. It was almost like he snapped at Phil to go. He knew though that Elijah was only doing it to try and use his “alpha” voice. Whatever that really meant.Phil just always assumed that it was when people were trying to be more dominant.

Though there were only a few times when Phil ever heard that voice coming from Elijah. It was always if Phil was going to do something that could get him in trouble, an alpha hit on him and Elijah didn’t like it. Or most notably was when Phil started to cross the road while not paying much attention and was nearly hit.

Phil mumbled a small _goodbye_ and stepped away from him and headed towards the gate. He could hear Elijah break down and start to cry and his body was physically aching as he heard it. Opening the gate, Phil forced his feet to move so he could walk away. It was a dull throbbing pain in his legs that was shooting up through him.

The walk back to his house wasn’t a long one, but it felt like it dragged on forever. It was ten minutes maybe, at the max? But it felt longer. There was no doubt in his mind that his parents would be waiting for him, and the fear was setting in. He wasn’t exactly scared of his parents, up until this moment they were genuinely nice people. But something was different once they told him that he would be married. They were more strict with Phil and didn’t let him do much.

In Phil’s mind, it was like they were trying to keep him pure. In a weird way. He already had sex, if that’s what they were worried about. But they knew that, funnily enough, he had. Phil wasn’t sure what they were trying to do at this point honestly, he wasn’t sure if even worth trying to figure out. They were confusing people, and this entire situation was confusing him more than he could process if he was honest.

Turning down on his block, Phil sighed when he saw his house. A car was missing from the driveway, so one of his parents were gone. Probably his dad. He imagined he had work today. When didn’t he? Phil would swear that he was a workaholic at times. Though he had been off a lot more in recent times when they were meeting with his future groom and his parents.

Tears pooled in his eyes and he wiped them away. Stopping in his tracks he took a minute to collect himself and to try and pull things together. He covered his mouth as he stood there and he started to sob. Phil closed his eyes and stood there and sobbed as cars drove by. His body was shaking from the pain.

He stared at all of the houses he was so used to seeing each and every day. The families that had come and gone through the years. The friends he made that lived there once, who are gone now as well. He was next, wasn’t he? It was quite obvious. He just didn’t like the answer. But would anyone? It was a tough life sometimes. Usually not, but things had just gone so far downhill for Phil he wasn’t sure if things were ever going to look up. And maybe he was being dramatic, it was warranted with what was happening.

Across the street, Mindy, an older alpha who was quiet and reserved stepped onto her porch to water her flowers. Phil looked at her but she was just a blur. Mindy was the sweet elder of their street. She always made cookies for the kids and tended to her flowers. She had a small dog that she let the kids visit all the time. Granted they weren’t biologically her kids, but Mindy loved those who stopped by to see her like her own. Phil and Elijah included.

Phil can think about how she stopped them once. Mindy was lonely since her omega had passed away years ago, but she refused to remarry. Phil didn’t blame her. He wanted to be married once and only once.

“Phil!” She called from across the street. Phil rubbed his eyes aggressively and walked over. He didn’t think that she could see him crying, even though it was obvious. Her eyesight was declining, which Phil would give her that much. “How are you dear? It’s been a lit - “

She stopped talking when she noticed that Phil was crying. Most people knew what was happening by this point. Phil’s parents didn’t exactly keep things under wraps. Mindy just opened her arms and Phil gladly took her up on that offer. Phil was just a bit taller than her, but Mindy’s hugs were like home. Just like Elijah’s were.

Phil started to cry again and she just shushed him and rubbed his back.

“It’ll be alright dear,” She promised him. But just as Elijah, she lied. Phil knew this. No one could promise him that things would be okay when he knew that they wouldn’t be.

Stepping back Phil forced himself to calm down. His eyes stung. His throat burned from the ache of wanting to cry but not being able to continue. He wiped his eyes again and bit his lip. Mindy started to ramble about somethings to try and make Phil feel better. He appreciated it, but it didn’t work.

“Have you talked to your parents? They’re worried about you.” She said.

Phil shook his head no and sniffled. “I… I uh… ha. I haven’t been ho.. home.” Trying to say home stung his mouth. It felt like a curse he just uttered that he wished he could redact immediately. In the span of a year, it went from home to a place he never wanted to be.

“They’re worried sick since you ran off.”Ran off? Is that what they said when people asked.

Phil just nodded hesitantly and he could feel the pit of his stomach dropping more and more. He politely excused himself and said goodbye. Mindy just watched him before going back to her flowers. He dragged his feet the entire way to his house. Physically it _hurt_ to lift up his feet and he couldn’t get over that.

Walking up to the door Phil opened it and stepped inside. The scent of his house hit him like a freight train him and he felt his eyes water. He wasn’t sure exactly where his mum was. Her car was in the driveway, so unless she walked to a neighbors’ house, he wasn’t sure where she could be. He imagined just upstairs.

“Phil?” His mum called from upstairs. He spoke t0o soon. He cringed at her voice. Not because he didn’t want to hear his mum’s voice. He did love her. But it just meant that the future would carry on as planned and he couldn’t stand that.

Footsteps came from upstairs as he stood in front of the door. He just watched up the stairs as his mum came rushing down. Her hair was tied back, which was unusual. She always had it down. Phil can hardly remember a time when it wasn’t down.

“Where on Earth have you been?” She practically yelled at him. Phil flinched slightly and wiped his eyes. “Do you have any idea how much of a sca- “

She stopped talking.

Phil’s shoulder was showing.

Immediately her eyes went to it and she breathed in. Phil covered it and dropped his head. He could feel her eyes on him. They were digging into his skin and he wanted to scream.

“What did you do?” She asked. Her voice was cold, and frankly, that scared him.

Phil stood there, unable to find his voice to answer. His throat felt as if it was closing up and he didn’t know how to react. Never being in a situation like this before wasn’t easy. In the past his parents were fine with things he did with Elijah. But then, when they told him about this other boy, things changed.

“Philip.” She said.

“I..” Phil tried to say before bursting into tears once again.

He buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

He _sobbed._

And _sobbed._

And _sobbed._

It felt as if he had been crying to an eternity. His throat was burning and his eyes stung. He started to cough and could feel his stomach churning. Quickly he ran over to the kitchen and grabbed the bin and held it up to his face and threw up. He heard his mum sigh and follow him in.

Once he was done and sat the bin down, his mum pulled him into a hug. It was gently, contrary to how she was just acting. Hesitantly he buried his face in her chest and sniffled. Holding onto her, Phil breathed in her scent, hoping that would calm him down. It was something that he did all his life really. If he was upset or scared he would go and hug his mum and the pheromones she released would typically calm him down. Most of the time it worked. Especially since he was an omega like her. This time it just wasn’t. Instead, it made him sick to his stomach almost.

Stepping back he heard a car pull into the driveway and he swallowed hard. His dad was home and he started to shake. His dad scared him at times, and Phil was terrified. He didn’t need them anymore angrier with him, but they would be.

“Go up to your room,” His mum said, “We’ll discuss this later on.”

Phil nodded and headed up the stairs. His feet were heavy, but he would manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me on tumblr @flymetomanchester


	5. Chapter 5

It had only been a few hours since Phil had been sent to his room. He had just been laying on the bed, staring up at his ceiling. Closing his eyes, Phil tried to relax and let a wave of calmness crash over him. It wasn’t working for him and his chest was hurting. He could hear the muffled voices of his parents downstairs. This felt like a stab to the back. He  _ knew  _ that they were talking about him, there was no way they weren’t. Phil had - well - he  _ had _ fucked up in a sense. 

This was nothing new to him. Ever since he was told he was being forced to marry, nothing he did pleased his parents. But he was hoping that this wasn’t the straw that broke the camel’s back. Phil wasn’t sure what would happen if that was the case, but he didn’t want to know. 

Pulling his blanket over himself, he turned to lay on his side and he curled up. He took a deep breath, but his eyes were stinging from all of the crying he had been doing. Obviously he didn’t want to continue crying. In fact, it was tiring him more and more. It wasn’t doing anything to help him, other than making him sick. There was nothing about that in retrospect that was good. 

Rubbing his shoulder gently, Phil felt like his skin was on fire. It still ached where Elijah had bitten down and he wasn’t sure how to make it stop. Last time they did this, Phil was with him so he had the pheromones from Elijah to calm him. But this time, he had no one. He was going through it alone and he could feel his body slowly starting to take a toll on him. Of course, the full effect he would feel wouldn’t start for a few more days. So he could at least prepare himself for that, but. 

Carefully stretching, Phil, out of the corner of his eye no less, caught a glimpse of the photo of him and Elijah on the wall. Sitting up, Phil just stared at it. It was from a few summers ago. They were standing on the boat dock by the lake. One of their parents took a photo of them together. He remembers that day so clearly. But also Elijah had thrown him into the lake right after that photo was taken. He had been trying to get his revenge that entire summer. 

Biting his lip, Phil just stared at it. He was happy in that photo and he envied his past self. He shouldn't be. Maybe one day he would feel that level of happiness if he tried. It was weird. Instead of feeling sad and missing Elijah, something felt different. A chill was sent down his spine and he shivered and rubbed his eyes. 

Everyone would go back and live normal lives. His parents would live happily without him there. They had proved that over the last year. Sure they “cared.” Whatever that meant anymore. The parents that he grew up with changed over the years and something inside him changed as well. 

Then, Elijah. After a while, Elijah would move on and live a happy life. He would find another mate and fall in love again. That’s how the cycle for them all goes. Nothing would change, and Phil knew that. Everyone but himself would be happy again one day. It wasn’t fair. 

Staring at the photo on the wall, something was bubbling inside of himself. Phil just had a weird sensation of anger, he thought at least. It would make a little sense, but he didn’t get it. Here he was alone in his bedroom, getting ready to have everything taken from him. No one else he knew was having that happen to them. He knew Elijah wouldn’t be having that happen to him anytime soon. 

Everyone was abandoning him. There was no doubt about that in his mind at that moment. Thinking about it, it made sense to Phil. No one was trying to save him. He was feeling abandoned and wanted to scream. Sitting on the edge of his bed, something inside of Phil snapped. He wasn’t sad for a moment, he was angry. He was angry at his parents and he was angry at Elijah. 

Elijah did nothing to help him. He just let this happen to him. Deep inside, rationally, he knew that this wasn’t Elijah’s fault. But Phil wanted to partially put the blame onto someone else. And Elijah was the person he could. He did nothing to “save” Phil. Could he even call it being saved? It wasn’t like he was in danger. At least not yet. Elijah could have tried to help him more. Couldn’t he have? Everyone knew that they would have ended up together for life. Why couldn’t he have helped more?

He stared, quite angrily, at the photo on the wall once more. Shaking his head, he stood up and walked over to his bedroom door. Placing his hand on the knob, he froze. Staring at the door, Phil felt his heart beating faster and faster. He could feel it pounding in his chest and he just got angry again. Frustrated, if he had to say. Looking at his dresser, he scanned his eyes over it. Moving from the door, he grabbed a small knick-knack from it and swiftly threw it. He heard it hit the glass of the picture frame and then the frame hit the ground. 

“Phil!” his mum called from downstairs. “Dinner’s almost ready.” 

Rubbing his eyes in annoyance, he opened his bedroom door and headed downstairs. The picture frame, which lay broken on the floor, was the furthest thing from his mind. Slightly stomping down the stairs, Phil headed into the kitchen. His mum was finishing up putting everything into the bowls and onto the serving plates. His dad was setting the table. That was odd. His dad usually didn’t do that. 

He just took a seat and kept his head down. Putting his hand on his shoulder, he kept it there. Avoiding looking at his dad, he mumbled, “What’s for dinner?” 

“Alfredo,” his mum answered, and she smiled in his direction, although Phil wasn’t looking at either her or his dad. Phil felt like he was wearing a target on his back and was just waiting for someone to yell at him. He thought it was coming. He was expecting it to come. At this point, Phil was  _ bracing  _ himself for it. There was the idea that lingered in the back of his head that his dad was going to yell at him or even kick him out of the house. So he was just waiting for it. 

Surprisingly, nothing happened. Over the hour it took for them to eat dinner, his mom and dad made small talk. They just mainly talked about how his dad’s day at work went, and about rumors they’d heard about the neighbors. Phil couldn’t help but roll his eyes ever-so-subtly. He wanted to get up and leave, but his parents had raised him to not leave the table until everyone was finished. Why? He didn’t know. Before they got up though, his dad spoke up. He told Phil about how there would be a “party,” more of a gathering really, tomorrow. It was meant to celebrate Phil’s new life, but he didn’t want to celebrate it. 

Phil sat, staring at his plate. This wasn’t what he wanted. This would never be what he wanted. What was the point in celebrating a lifetime of unhappiness? Phil couldn’t wrap his head around it as he sat there. Something had to have been missing. 

“Nigel, help me clean the table here.” 

Nodding, Nigel stood and helped his wife clean up. Phil excused himself and went to sneak upstairs but heard his dad call his name and told him to go wait in the living room for him and his mom. Phil shook slightly but went and sat on the couch. He fiddled with his hands and covered his shoulder again. 

Hearing footsteps, he finally looked up and his parents came in. His mom sat on the other end of the couch and his dad sat in his chair across from them. 

“Son, I hope you know I’m truly disappointed in you,” Nigel spoke and continued before Phil could answer. “What were you thinking? How could you be so...so irresponsible?” 

“Your father is right.” Phil’s jaw dropped slightly and he just stared at his parents slightly. He was getting angry again. 

“We’re doing this for you, and you’re going to screw it all up.” 

_ For  _ him. He wanted to flinch when those words came out of his dad’s mouth. This wasn’t for him. None of this was. This was for them and whatever selfish reasoning they had. How could they dare to try and tell him this was for him? There was no way that this was. There just wasn’t. If it was, he wouldn’t have said goodbye to the one person that made him feel safe throughout his life. 

Phil shook his head and Nigel raised his brow. “Th.. this isn’t what I want,” he finally spoke up. Both Nigel and Kathryn were staring at him. He felt like he had grown a second head and tried to sink back into the couch.

No one ever told him that the monsters under the bed would morphe into his own parents and that he couldn’t escape them. 

“What do you want then?” Nigel asked him. 

_ Elijah. Freedom.  _ His ability to speak felt like it disappeared and no sound would come out. His parents were staring at him and he sighed. Covering his shoulder, he tried to explain it to them. He tried to explain that he didn’t want to get married. That he wanted that normal teenage life he was going to be missing out on. That he wanted the chance to figure out who he was still, make mistakes and learn from them. But more importantly, he wanted to be with Elijah because he was happy with him. Phil tried to make light of it and asked his parents if they remembered when they thought Elijah was the one. Mainly because of how they acted when growing up. 

“You can’t live in a fantasy, Phil,” Nigel said. “Quit with the jokes. Lashing out like this won’t help anything, you do know that. Right?” 

Phil didn’t answer, and he was subjected to listen to them lecture him for about twenty minutes about how they were concerned he bonded with another alpha. They mentioned Dan, and if he would change his mind. Nigel cursed under his breath and Phil just sat there. His dad was complaining about the parents possibly calling off the marriage if Dan didn’t. 

His name was Dan.  _ Dan.  _ This felt foreign to know his name. Phil sat there staring off into space and a deep hatred for the name Dan started to grow deep inside of him. He shouldn’t take it out on just anyone named Dan. But that name would now haunt his dreams and curse him for the rest of his life. In some way, shape or form. Phil knew that it would. Nothing would change. While ignoring them, they stopped talking to him and talked to each other. 

“Be ready for tomorrow. The Howells are coming. Dan isn’t, but you’ll be meeting his parents.” 

Standing up, Phil just ignored his parents and went upstairs. He could hear them talking still and his eyes watered. He didn’t want to meet these people. Was there a way to stop it? Unfortunately not and he knew that. He knew how this would go. The Howells would either swoon over him, or they would turn him away. Hopefully the latter. Maybe if they turned him away he would be able to go back to Elijah and try to return to a normal life. 

Going back into his room, Phil fell onto his bed and curled up. Closing his eyes, he pulled the blanket over him, struggling slightly. He felt himself getting a little bit frustrated and he gave up. Phil laid there for a little while, letting his thoughts run wild. It felt like he was hit by a freight train and was expected to get up and walk again. Everyone wanted him to just be okay. But he wasn’t. 

The window was open and the wind was picking up. A breeze came into his room, and he shivered. 

“I can’t catch a break,” he muttered under his breath, as he got up and walked over to close the window. He stared out into the yard and just imagined life before. Spending so much time on the past and longing for that was a complete waste of time, but he couldn’t help it. Turning around, Phil took a step forward and noticed the bare spot on his wall. Nearly stepping down again, and almost onto broken glass, he jumped backwards. 

Looking down, he was met with the site of glass and a broken picture frame. He looked at the photo and bent to pick the frame up. He wasn’t angry this time, he was just left feeling guilty. Tearing up, Phil sat on his bed, crossing his legs, and wiped his eyes. He placed the frame in front of him on his blanket. 

As Phil tried to carefully take the photo out of the frame, he pricked his finger with the glass and muttered under his breath. Ignoring it, he tried again to get the photo out with his hands shaking. This time he ripped the photo slightly as he pulled it out. Frustration grew in him again and staring at the photo again, he crumpled it up and threw it. 

Burying his face in his hands, he started sobbing out of frustration. He was just a mess. Phil sobbed for a little longer and threw the broken frame to the floor, hearing it break more. His chest was once again hurting, and he leaned back against his bed frame. He sobbed until he couldn’t and was left hiccuping. His sides were aching and he cursed to himself. 

His parents were coming up the stairs so he went and locked his door. Mainly so they wouldn’t be able to just walk in, since sometimes they would before he would answer. His mum, not so much his dad, would always knock. But she didn’t always wait for him to answer before walking in. 

After locking his door, he walked over and picked up the crumbled photo and sniffled. He sat on his bed and a new wave of guilt flooded over him. As he tried to smooth out the photo, one of his parents knocked at his door. 

“Phil?” It was his mum. 

“Ye.. yeah?” 

“Your father and I are going to bed early since we need to be up early, goodnight love.” She told Phil she loved him and he didn’t answer. He heard her sigh and walk away and he just looked back to the photo. 

Getting up, he went and sat the picture on his dresser and put a book on it. Maybe that would help. But he just felt awful. He ruined this for no reason and he didn’t know if it could be fixed. Wiping his eyes, Phil just went and changed into his pajamas and laid in bed. 

It only took a moment, but he started to cry again, and he cried and cried until he finally fell asleep. 


End file.
